Badlieutenantswife

From Pop Hangover

2011-05-18T10:42:00.000-07:00

Everyone has a little Bad Lieutenant's Wife in them, including Pop Hangover.com...

And you thought that Shrek was the only one.

The Twenty-Eighth Submissions

2011-01-15T14:48:00.000-08:00

Ed says, "This time? I'm prepared."

"War of The World According To Garp"

"Annie Get Your Gun Crazy"

"Four Jacks And A Jill Face/Off"

"Psycho, Cornbread, Earl And Me"

"Falling Down The 39 Steps"

"To Catch A Thief, Scream, and Dial 'M' for Murder"

And he asks, "who else is in?"

It's no surprise that Flannery rises to the challenge and dominates-

"Fried Green Hornet Tomatoes"

"Pay It Fast Forward"

"Murder in the First by Numbers"

"Hot Tub Timecop Machine"

"Season of the Witches of Eastwick"

"No String Theories Attached"

"2012 Angry Men"

"Mallratattui"

"Fools Rush In the Line of Fire"

"Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Karate Kid"

"Armed and Dangerous Liaisons"

"Waking The Dead Up In Reno"

Katherine Tomlinson's anthology "Just Another Day In Paradise" is here!

2010-10-12T07:08:00.000-07:00

Life in the big city is not for the faint of heart. Shadows lurk in sunlight; blood spills on floors; hope and dread are just two sides of a neon sign; and loneliness is a paper cut on the heart, an invisible wound that eventually kills. In these stories, Katherine Tomlinson explores the dark heart of urban living. It is what it is...Just Another Day in Paradise.

Information on this outstanding anthology and a sample of the first ten pages are right here at Smashwords.com.

The Bad Lieutenant's Rebus

2010-08-28T21:40:00.000-07:00

I was going to make this simple and post a photo from a certain site, but they've made it so you can't repost their pics. The original was done on a movie marquee (though I believe that the third film was planted there or photoshopped in, as it has been out of the theaters for some time). So, I'll do a recreation. First, do you know what a rebus is?

noun \ˈrē-bəs\
Definition of REBUS
: a representation of words or syllables by pictures of objects or by symbols whose names resemble the intended words or syllables in sound; also : a riddle made up of such pictures or symbols

So, add the three titles of the movie posters below, and you will get our latest installment-

Jake Good and InfoMania get in on the action

2010-08-15T01:45:00.000-07:00

I believe it was on InfoMania, though it was definitely during a Viral Video segment that I saw picture of this:

Which, this was apparently originally from Jake Good's Flickr. Good one, Jake.

The Hollywood Roaster

2010-08-03T02:03:00.000-07:00

Everyone has a little Bad Lieutenant in them...

...Even the people over at the Hollywood Roaster, who were on the same wavelength as Flannery.

The Twenty-Seventh Submissions

2010-05-01T15:38:00.000-07:00

Six months later, The Bad Lieutenant's Wife has returned!

Flannery has conjured some more up (less one redundancy, with "Mr. & Mrs. Smith")-

"Lars and the Real Girl Interrupted "

"The Firm Saint"

"Harold & Maude & Kumar Go to White Castle"

"Looking for Mr. Goodbar! O, Brother, Where Art Thou?"

"A Life Less Ordinary, People!"

"Charlie Wilson's Prom Wars"

"Four Wedding Crashers and a Funeral"

"I Love You Man! Good Night and Good Luck"

Ed says, "after over six months to think it over? I still got nuthin'."

"Road Trip To Hell And Back"

"The Cook, The Thief, His Wife & The Gorgeous Hussy"

"Bananas Return To The Planet of The Apes"

"Drag Me To Hell, Beth Cooper"

The Twenty-Sixth Submissions

2009-10-13T07:38:00.000-07:00

Becky says, "Yay, BLW is back!" Then she brings the pain-

"I Love You, Man of La Mancha"

"Law Abiding Citizen Kane"

"Untamed Paper Heart"

"I Am The Legend Of Bagger Vance"

"Where The Wild Things We Lost In The Fire Are"

"Rachel Getting Married To The Mob"

"Away From Her We Go"

"(500) Strange Days of Summer"

"The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly Truth"

"The Funny People Under The Stairs"

"Land Of The Lost Boys"

"We Are Forgetting Sarah Marshall"

"Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse Of The Black Girl With A Pearl Earring"

"The Curious Case of Private Benjamin Button"

Ed says, "after eight months to think it over? I got nuthin'"

"Soylent Groundhog Goodburger."

The Twenty-Fifth Submissions

2009-10-12T08:32:00.000-07:00

When we last left The Bad Lieutenant's Wife, the bad Ed was too busy to save her and left her hanging from the precipice like an indifferent Simon Legree.

It took an idiot sp*mmer with more than an hour to kill and a nationally syndicated cartoonist to revive The Bad Lietenant's Wife...if only for a moment.

Sridhar J left off with-

"The Scary Simpson's Movie"

"My Best Friend's Wedding Crashers"

"Behind Thin Red Enemy Lines"

"Of A Few Good Mice And Men (I'm not sure if this has been done already, the search isn't as reliable as it once was. Ed)"

"Happy Go Lucky Gilmore"

"It's A Wonderful Bug's Life"

"When Harry Potter Met Sally"

Bucky Katt (sic) a.k.a. Darby Conley weighs in with this one and you have to click it to make it bigger-

The Twenty-Fourth Submissions

2009-02-18T14:58:00.000-08:00

X. Dell pushed and pushed, and then he revived The Bad Lieutenant's Wife on his blog. Normally I don't encourage this and someone who blatantly ripped me off on the Internet (not Mr. Dell, I repeat, not Mr. Dell) should pray that I do not get ahead enough on my overtime pay to hire a lawyer. Yet The X Man has been lobbying for TV shows for ages and I said that if he wanted to do TV shows, by all means, do TV shows.

He asked his blog's readers and they came up with some good ones, which he posted on his blog. X. Dell notified me of this, and he forwarded them, unlike a certain rip-off artist. There are some serious gems in here, but why are you reading this? When you should be reading the Twenty-fourth Submissions-

John B

Dr. No Mo' Better Blues

Devin

Darkness Falls On Golden Pond - After getting the family back together, and remembering happy times, a gang of bloodthirsty inter-dimensional witches come to Golden Pond, and gives the family 24 hours to decide who will be their blood sacrifice.

Libby

Dances with American Werewolves in London

Throw Momma from the Midnight Meat Train

Foam

Debbie Does Santa Clause Too in Dallas - A movie about Christmas time fundraising.

Gentlemen Prefer Blondes’ Booty Call - Bodacious blonds call on gentlemen.

The Story of O Brother, Where Art Thou?-A young woman's search for her brother who has been sold as a sex slave.

The Last Tango in Paris Date Movie - A closeted lesbian widow finds herself obsessed with the fiancée of Grant, the guy at the diner.

The Departed Walk the Line - Zombie horror flick featuring the Dead Kennedys.

K9/She/Chicory/Mean Lovey Dovey Coolidge

Dressed to Kill Bill,Vol.1

The Hills Have Eyes of Laura Mars [And she wants them back!]

American History X-Men

Touch of Evil Dead

Malcolm X-Men

Blue Velvet Lagoon: Two teens' sexual awakening is anything but tender when it is interrupted by a nitrous sniffing madman.

Seven Beauties Samurai: Samurai rescue Italian army deserters from a terrifying prison madam, only to be turned into transvestite geisha prostitutes.

Vanilla Blue Sky: Horny Jessica Lange embarrasses husband through her adulterous affair with disfigured Scientoligist.

The Lion King Kong: A giant ape f***s up the Circle of life.

BlackuLa Bamba: A hip-hop vampire goes on a blood sucking rampage every time he hears a Mexican beat.

As Good as the Bad and Ugly Gets: A story of 3 western desperadoes with obsessive compulsive disorder.

Dead Man Walking Tall: Sheriff Buford T. Pusser goes too far in when he kills a nun who befriends him in prison.

Hang Em High School Musical: Disney CEO snaps when his stable of teen tarts make a porno.

Bob and Carol and Ted and Alice and Turner and Hooch: *explicit X-rated film featuring bestiality *

Black Rain Man: An autistic man gets the better of the Yakuza.

Animal House of Wax: Low budget horror film where an entire fraternity is picked off one by one; dipped in wax and put on display at the "college" museum.

Air Force One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest: Obama realizes he can't fix anything and leaves the country.

Sridhar J

Sex and the City of Angels - Four women in search of love(?!) find spiritual fulfillment.

The Hollow Man Who Knew Too M- A brave woman gets back her child kidnapped by a near-invisible man.

Top Guns of Navarone - Tom Cruise fights for the Allies in WW2, Epic win for Axis.

Silence of the Lions for Lambs - Serial killer among the US troops in Afghanistan.

Stuart Little Women - Of women and mice.

The Bridges over River Kwai in Madison County - British army regiment futile attempts to re-colonize the USA.

An Inconvenient Truth about Cats and Dogs - How cats and dogs are destroying the environment.

The Full Monty Python and the Holy Grail - The Pythonites get nekkid.

Six Days Seven Boogie Nights - A mismatched couple crash-lands on an island where a porn movie is being shot.

The Other Mean Boleyn Girls - There are more Boleyn sisters than we thought ... and uh-oh.

Confessions of a Dangerous Shopaholic Mind - Shopping till you drop ... dead.

Girl, Interrupted Next Door - A small town boy falls in love with a borderline-depressive girl.

Cold Brokeback Mountain - Two gay guys fall in love but the sex is frigid.

He's Just Not That Into You, Me and Dupree - About a guy who is strictly monogamous.

Sleeping with the Enemy of the State - Matahari meets Drive-in.

What Happens in Vegas Every Spring - A documentary about seasonal time business variations in Las Vegas.

Death at Four Weddings and a Funeral - A violent bunch that likes to kill at weddings.

The Runaway Princess Bride - A princess who runs away with her girlfriend.

American Beauty and the Beast - Beauty and the beast set in Kenosha, Wisconsin.

Analyze This Confession of a Dangerous Mind - The Unabomber goes to see a shrink.

Bringing Down the Haunted House - Queen Latifah as a vampire slayer.

Fifty-Four First Dates - Drew Barrymore goes to Studio 54 to find a date.

The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas Chainsaw Massacre - doesn't need a log-line!

Dude, Where's My Carmen - a French opera with the "dudes."

Million Dollar Baby's Day Out - Rich kid strays away from nanny and into a boxing ring.

The First Wives Fight Club - Three divorced women want to get away from it all by fighting on the streets.

The Twenty-Third Submissions

2009-01-24T01:28:00.000-08:00

Rust never sleeps, and neither does The Bad Lieutenant's Wife! It's been nearly a year since the last submission. Flannery decided to wake this blog from its slumber and she chooses to fight the cold, cold winter of Ohio (note, with nary a yellow snowball in the list) with-

"Scooby Doo and the Reluctant American Werewolf in London"

"Get Smart Shorty"

"The Dark Knight's Tale"

"Dr. No Reservations"

"Charlie Wilson's War of the Roses"

"Jumper Cable Guy"

"No Country for Three Old Men and a Baby"

"An American Gangster in Paris"

"Love Story in the Time of Cholera"

"We're No Snow Angels"

"Good Night the Good, the Bad and the Ugly, and Good Luck."

"Pirates of the Carribean: Men in Black Pearls"

"Ocean's Twelve Angry Men"

"National Treasure: Book of the Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood"

"Fun with Dick and Lady Jane"

That Ed guy? He's completely unprepared and that is odd, considering he's had over eleven months to get it together. He panics and goes to his Fandango email for scraps-

"Underworld: Rise of The Mallcops"

"Bloody Inkheart Valentine"

"Cujo, Marley & Me"

"How To Marry A Slumdog Millionaire, Without Really Trying"

This Is Almost A Contribution

2008-08-10T12:01:00.000-07:00

The multiplex in my wife's hometown almost posted a contribution. I am not very happy with another blog, who may or may not have "borrowed" my idea, but I can't stray to far from my writing to address this offense and devote time to it. Regardless, I will be writing to a few great minds, in an effort to help get this blog some fresh blood.

2008-07-18T23:24:00.000-07:00

Issue Number Four of Astonishing Adventures is finally here!

Click here at the Issu site, if you want to view it online.

And click here, if you want to buy a hardcopy version from Amazon.

John has also put together an AAM screensaver.

Sorry This Is The Official Cover of AAM #4

2008-07-12T20:38:00.000-07:00

Sorry folks, this is the official cover of Issue #4 of AAM.

Of course this cover tells an entirely different story and while I'm partial to the other version, this one adds so much more.

The New Cover Of Astonishing Adventures Magazine!

2008-07-11T08:26:00.000-07:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, I have been granted the privilege to bring you the cover of the Fourth Issue of Astonishing Adventures Magazine, just before it officially goes to print.

Don't you think that John Carlucci did a wonderful job? Not to mention that the rain really gives her depth and a third dimension. I know that she's only an illustration and please don't tell my wife, but I think that I'm in love.

A B.L.W. Contributor Hits The Big Time

2008-05-02T07:52:00.000-07:00

Hey, B.L.W. contributor Katie Schwartz has been interviewed by Farmhouse Magazine, in anticpation of her soon to be released book "Emotionally Pantsed!"

Go check it out!

P.S. Don't you just love that book title?

The Third Issue of Astonishing Adventures Is Here!

2008-05-02T07:50:00.000-07:00

The greatest pulp online magazine is back with its exciting third issue!

You can download it here at Media Fire...

Or you can read it here at Issuu.

The Twenty-Second Submissions

2008-02-23T01:38:00.000-08:00

Becky says "how about 'The Ghost and Mr. Chicken and Mrs. Muir?' Two of my favorite movies!"

The Paper Anniversary of The Bad Lieutenant's Wife

2008-02-17T12:25:00.000-08:00

By the time I click "publish post" on this submission, this blog will be hours short of its first birthday (and the crowd goes wild!). Who knew? I certainly didn't and the submissions that are forever on these pages, have amused, impressed, and even stupefied me in their humor and brilliance.

I salute each and every person who has submitted their take on this game and you all should pat yourself on the back. A game is only is good as its players and each of you should be tested for steroids/performance enhancing drugs...no seriously, drop this blue tablet in the toilet and fill the cup. I'll also need a hair sample and I don't want to hear any nonsense about shy kidneys.

Beware now, as this editor will get self-indulgent and pick the best of that guy Ed's submissions. Remember, only you can prevent forest fires and that guy Ed, by creating more submissions of your own-

"When Harry Met The Usual Suspects"

"National Blue Velvet"

"True Underworld Romance"

"On Any Given Girl Friday"

"Five Easy Pieces of About Schmidt"

"Goodfellas, Bad Boys And The Ugly"

"Cloverfield of Dreams"

"Play Gorillas In The Misty For Me"

"The Best Truman In Show"

"The Bourne Elf Identity"

The Twenty-first Submissions

2008-01-24T20:27:00.000-08:00

Who's ready for more? Spot serves it up like he's at the Australian Open-

"National Velvet: Book of Secrets (A drug-addled Liz Taylor teams up with Nicholas Cage in this adventure yarn to prove that Abraham Lincoln was actually assassinated by John Wilkes Booth's horse.)"

"Juno Country For Old Men. (the new Cohen brothers movie in which a pop-culture-reference-dropping teen mom puts her stash of smack up for adoption. It's got Jason Bateman!)"

Ed tries to return the volley with-

"Half-baked, Full Frontal Double Indemnity"

"The Glass House Of Mirth"

"Boxing Helena Troy"

"The Best Truman In Show"

"Blazing And Confused Saddles"

Spot rushes the net with-

The Cohen brothers return with "There Will Be Blood Simple" This confused tribute to film noir westerns has detectives, dames, cowboys, oil, and a cameo by Frances McDormand's underpants.

And a little something for the tween crowd: "Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus: War of the Worlds Concert Tour" In this remake of the classic H.G. Wells story, martians invade the east coast, only to find that they have no resistance to crappy Disneypop. For god's sake, root for the martians.

X. Dell jumps down in the court and chaos ensues-

"I Know What You Did Last Summer of Sam (Somebody spied on David Berkowitz)."

"Mr. Mari’s Little Drummer Girls (Diane Keaton stars as a drug addicted prostitute who doubles as a spy)."

"Love Finds Amos and Andrew (Andy) Hardy (Samuel L. Jackson and Mickey Rooney both get lucky).Bananas! Meatballs! Cold Turkey! (A gripping drama about a restaurant with a limited menu)."

"Get on the Short Bus (Richard Belzer and Andre Braugher enjoy an orgy en route to the Million Man March)."

(The Ed will make a few exceptions for old school pron movies, because they were technically movies released in theaters and technically, they had scripts)
"Debbie Does North Dallas Forty (In this sequel, Bambi Woods branches out to the suburbs.)."

"Bad Boys on the Side (Whoopi Goldberg and Drew Barrymore challenge Will Smith and Martin Lawrence in a contest to determine which pair can chew more scenery)."

"Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid Again (Because of hypnosis, Steve Martin can’t recall a serious fashion faux pas)"

"The Opposite of Sex and the Single Girl (A film about marriage)."

"A Repo Man for All Seasons (Harry Dean Stanton refuses to steal the popemobile despite Henry VIII’s order)."

"I Write, Therefore I Strike"

2008-01-17T19:34:00.000-08:00

The Missus and I have worked hard to bring screenwriters, writers, as well as their friends, and family everywhere, a way to show their solidarity and support. We have a whole new section at the shop dedicated to The Great Writers' Strike of 2007-2008, with the slogan "I Write, Therefore I Strike." Doesn't that sound like something Rene would've said if he were a striking screenwriter?

Some of the clothing costs a little more because the designs are printed on both the front and the back, this is a Cafe Press expense because of the cost of printing on both sides. This was also my idea because this way the message can be seen up and down the picket line, as well as any where the writer or supporter goes.

In effort to show our solidarity, we are also offering the "Value Shirt" that Cafe Press sells AT COST.

The Twentieth Submissions

2008-01-07T08:07:00.000-08:00

Originally I envisioned the twentieth installment to be the "Best Of, but really, shouldn't the "Best Of" installment stand on its own? Other things kept piling up and I never got around to until now, some seven months later.

The problem being that I wanted to kick this off with a bang, but double checking submissions, I hadn't realized that I had already posted them on the Nineteenth Installment. All I have left over is one meager joke that didn't pass muster and I already set today as the deadline, so...

"Hellraiser Arizona."

There it is and as I've said before when I kicked this thing off, surely you can do better and I know you can do better than that. Make me proud!

From the Editor John D. Carlucci:

"Ghost Story of O"

"Dusk to Dawn of the Dead"

"From Russia with Love Actually"

"The Legend of Hell House on Haunted Hill"

"Escape from New York Minute"

"Village of the Damned Yankees"

From Ed:

(Stallone, Denzel and Angelina in)
"The Rambo Collector"

"Cloverfield of Dreams"

"Planes, Training Day And Automobiles"

"Hope Floats The Waterboy"

"Play Gorillas In The Misty For Me"

"Legends Of The Falling Down"

"All Roustabout Eve"

"Kindergarten Copland"

"It's A Mad, Mad, Underworld!"

(Julia Roberts goes retro with)
"How To Succeed In Business Without Really Dying Young"

From the man who excels at this game, X. Dell:

Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home Alone (The crew of the Enterprise abandons Captain Kirk).

Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang the Drum Slowly (Robert De Niro plays a catcher, who helps a young pitching prospect overcome his speech impediment).

Earth Girls Are Five Easy Pieces (Jeff Goldblum and Jack Nicholson compare notes).

(I love these last three! Ed.)

The Shaggy Dogma (A Disney documentary about cults).

Kentucky Fried Green Tomatoes Movie (A spoof of Kathy Bates roles).

The Prince and the Showgirl, Interrupted (Just when things were getting good).

Please welcome someone new. The Belle of Baltimore, Catherinette:

"The Man That Went Up The Notting Hill And Came Down Cold Mountain"

"Down in the Valley Girl"

"Ernest Goes to Jesus Camp"

"The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen Prefer Blondes"

Back comes the Editor John D. Carlucci with:

"I Was A Male War Bride of Frankenstein"

"’80 Days of Thunder in Paradise Lost in Translation"

The Best of B.L.W. Volume Two

2008-01-07T07:38:00.000-08:00

Once again this is the "Best Of" and this time we have installments eleven through nineteen. Everybody is listed in the order they appeared, not by preference and with their best ten submissions for those installments. If there are less than ten for that person, that is because they submitted less than ten during this time period.

From Angel's Mind:

"12 Alien Monkeys" "Kiss Kiss Romeo & Bang Bang Juliet"
"Natural Born Desperado Killers"

From X Dell:

"The Urban Legend of Sleepy Hollow" "A Groundhog Day At The Races"

"And Justice For All That Jazz" "Paris, Texas Chainsaw Massacre"

"Raging Bull Durham" "The Man With The Golden Gunfight At O.K. Corral"

"To Catch A Bicycle Thief" "Dr. Strange Love Story"

"The Life of Brian's Song" "My Stepmother Is An Alien Resurrection"

From Flannery:

"The Remains of The Day The Earth Stood Still" "Cheaper By The Dirty Dozen"

"Not Without My Coal Miner's Daughter" "Howard's End Of Days"

"Remember The Clash Of The Titans" "Some Close Encounters Of The Third Kind Of Wonderful"

"The Sixth Sense And Sensibility" "Mad Dog And Blades Of Glory"

"To Sir With Love, Actually" "Murder My Sweet Home Alabama"

From Chris:

"Catch Me If You Can't Hardly Wait" "Beyond The Seabiscuit"

"Permanent Midnight Express" "A Scarface In The Crowd"

"Robocopycat" "It's Patton: The Movie"

"The X-Men's Wive's Club" "Bridget Jones's Motorcycle Diaries"

"That Thing You Xanadu" "Seven Year Samurai Itch"

From Spot:

"Live Free Or Die Fldermaus" "Police Academy 4: The Lost Patrol"

"The Omaha Beach Girls" "They Call Me Bruce Almight?"

"Joysticks Luck Club" "Surf II: Electric Boogaloo"

"Stewardess School Of Rock" "Cross My Angel Heart"

"Vice Squad Versa"

From Dr. Alistair:

"The Tears Of The Sun King" "Live And Let Die Hard"

"The Song Remains The Same Time Next Year" "The Curse Of The Count Of Montecristo"

"The Jazz Piano" "All The President's Few Good Men"

The Best Of B.L.W. Volume One

2008-01-03T06:36:00.000-08:00

To pare all of these submission down to a "Best Of" list was easier in some aspects and harder in others. First, I thought it would be both fairer and simpler to break it down to the first ten installments of the Bad Lieutenant's Wife. Also to maintain partiality, I thought it as editor, I would not post any of my submissions.

That being said, I know that everyone is going to be upset that their favorites aren't up there. This is true of any list and I hope everyone can understand this, as taste is subjective and other than my choice in spouse? I have no taste.

Once again this is the "Best Of," installments one through ten. Everybody is listed in the order they appeared, not by preference and with their best ten submissions for those installments. If there are less than ten for that person, that is because they submitted less than ten during this time period.

From John D. Carlucci:

"Lost City of Children of Men" "Marathon Man of La Mancha" "From Russia With Love American-Style" "Dark Waterworld" "Shakespeare in Love Actually"

From Angel's Mind:

"Sky Captain Correlli And The World Of Tomorrow’s Mandolin" "Interview with Buffy The Vampire Slayer" "The Shaggy Dog Day Afternoon"

From Katie Schwartz:

"Psycho Step Monster" "The Bride of Frankenstein" + "The Green Slime" = "The Green Slime Bride of Frankenstein"

From Becky:

"Stranger Than Pulp Fiction" "Urban Midnight Cowboy Legend" "Battlefield Earth Girls are Easy" "The Madness of Curious King George" "My Big Fat Greek Wedding Crashers" "I'm Dirty Dancing As Fast As I Can" "Bill And Ted's Excellent Adventures In Babysitting" "Night of The Living Dead Poets Society" "Rain Man of LaMancha" "Escape to Brokeback Mountain ("Escape to Witch Moutain"+"Brokeback Mountain")"

From James:

"Close Encounters of Richard III" "All the President's Men in Black" "The Godfather of the Bride" "Tango and Crash"

Now, anybody who signs up as Anonymous, gets a number corresponding to the sequence that they submitted. Thus, from Anonymous #1:

"The Unbearable Lightness of Being Earnest"

From Haahnster:

"Girl Fight" + "Fight Club" = "Girl Fight Club"
"Roger & Me" + "You, Me & Dupree" = "You, Me & Roger Dupree"

From X Dell:

"Wag The Dog Day Afternoon" "To Live In Die in L.A. Story" "The Lost Weekend at Bernie's" "The Third Mandingo (Orson Wells' "The Third Man+ "Mandingo.")" "Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace II Society" "Shampoo Network" "Westside Story of O" "There's Something About Mary Poppins"

From Flannery:

"Dirty Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban" "Mystic Pizza Deliverance" "Come Back To The Slaughterhouse Five And Dime, Jimmy Dean, Jimmy Dean" "Good Night, Nurse And Good Luck" "It Happened One Night At The Opera" "Apocalypto Now" "Raging Bullwinkle" "Honey I Blew Up The Karate Kid" "Deathwish Of A Salesman"

From Chris:

"The Forty Year Old Virgin Suicides" "Fast Times At Ridgemont High Plains Drifter" "Apocalpse Now And Then" "Guess Who's Coming To Dinner With Andre" "Throw Mamma From The Trainspotting" "Full Metal Jackass" "Innerspaceballs" "Nation Lampoon's Velvet Vacation" "Fools Rush Indiana Jones And The Last Crusade" "The Notting Hills Have Eyes"

From Coaster Punchman:

"Girls Just Wanda Whip Wall Street"

From Dead Spot On The Web:

The Remains of the Day of the Dead" "The Lost World: Gosford Park 2" "The Repo Man Who Knew Too Much" "The Blue Velveteen Rabbit" "The Great White North By Northwest"

From Amy:

"Harold and Maude go to White Palace (Harold and Maude + Harold and Kumar go to White Castle + White Palace)" "Life as a Road House (Life as a House + Road House)" "The People Under the Stairs vs Larry Flynt (The People Under the Stairs + The People vs Larry Flynt)"

From Sporting some Big Shoulders:

"Flags of Our Fathers of the Bride of Chucky" "The 40-Year Old Virgin Suicide Kings" "In the Army of Darkness Now" "Waiting for Guffman to Exhale" "Black Hawk Down By Law" "Falling Down from the Mountain" "The Last Samurai Waltz" "I Am Trying to Break Your Heart, Huckabees"

Two Big Announcements

2007-12-20T11:52:00.000-08:00

First, here is the cover of Astonishing Adventures Issue #2-

Second? Just around the New Year, the Twentieth Installment of The Bad Lieutenant's Wife will be the "best of!" A few days after that, the Twenty-first Installment will kick off.

A Moment Of Silence, Please

2007-09-24T07:35:00.000-07:00

From one of the editors of Astonishing Adventures Magazine-

I don't want to intrude on Katherine, but I just wanted to say a little something.
We lost one of our pulpsters recently and we at AAM want to say we're sorry. Katherine's sister Mary contributed the illustration for Tit For Tat in the first issue and she passed away on Saturday.

Please keep Katherine and her family in your thoughts.

Editor JDC

Astonishing Adventures Magazine

2007-09-02T10:09:00.000-07:00

I have seen the future and it is a fine revival of the past, Astonishing Adventures Magazine is finally here. Katherine Tomlinson, Tim Gallagher and John Don Carlucci have created an online pulp magazine.

Click the words of John Don Carlucci and the text will take you to the site...

It’s amazing! It’s stupendous! It’s ASTONISHING!

ASTONISHING ADVENTURES MAGAZINE, the greatest place for new tales in the old pulp fashion, has finally arrived!

Marvel at the tale of the man who married a Yeti! Thrill to the exploits of the mysterious Red Panda! Gasp in amazement as dinosaurs attack Manhattan! Be astounded as Tokyo is reduced to rubble (yet again)!

All this and more, including interviews with award-winning writer Joe Lansdale, legendary comics artist Michael Wm. Kaluta, and painter extraordinaire Doug Klauba!

Did we mention the monkeys? Yes, there are monkeys! More monkeys than you can shake a banana at!

Brace yourself for tales that are ASTONISHING! Prepare yourself for ADVENTURES! All conveniently located in one pulp MAGAZINE!

That’s ASTONISHING ADVENTURES MAGAZINE!

And best of all, the first issue is free!

Editor JDC

Thank you John! Psst, also, there is a story in there written by yours truly.

The Nineteenth Submissions

2007-07-12T07:35:00.000-07:00

(phooof!) Blowing off the dust and cobwebs, Dead Spot says

"Live Free or Die Fledermaus!"

"Police Academy 4: The Lost Patrol"

"The Omaha Beach Girls"

("Omaha Beach" does qualify. Ed)

"My Favorite Martian Year"

"They Call Me Bruce Almighty?"

"Joysticks Luck Club"

"Surf II: Electric Boogaloo"

"Stewardess School of Rock"

"Cross My Angel Heart"

"Vice Squad Versa"

P.S. A worthy submission can be found in the previous comment section, but cannot be posted here, as TV shows and made-for-TV movies are not allowed.

Days later, X Dell comes through with an excellent set

Dr., Strange Love Story (Peter Sellers tells Ali McGraw that love means never having to say you’re sorry for destroying the world).

What’s Up, Doc Hollywood? (A plastic surgeon accidentally arrives at a musicologist convention).

JFK-Pax (Lee Oswald claims to be an alien from a distant planet)

The Life of Brian’s Song. (Some old movies never die).
(My fave of this set. Ed.)

My Stepmother is an Alien Resurrection (How creepy is that?)

Goodbye, Girl 6 (Marsha Mason gets fired from her job as a phone sex operator)

La Femme d’à côtè, Nikita (An adulterous couple are caught by French intelligence, and forced to become assassins)

New to B.L.W. is Dr. Alistair and he says

"The Tears of The Sun King"(Louis The 14th catches his toe on the bedpost.)

"Live And Let Die Hard"(yippie-eye-aye Moneypenny.)

"The Song Remains The Same Time Next Year"(Jimmy Page forgets where he left his banjo.)

"The Curse of The Count of Montecristo"(makes Montezuma's revenge look like gas.)

"The Jazz Piano"(the Germans aren`t so understanding this time.)

All The President`s Few Good Men"(Bill Clinton`s dirty little secret.)

From the other land down under, Angel thunders...

"12 Alien Monkeys"

"Kiss Kiss Romeo & Bang Bang Juliet"

"Natural Born Desperado Killers"

(the next Tarantino/Rodriguez collaboration, eh? Ed.)

The Eighteenth Submissions

2007-05-29T20:56:00.000-07:00

The Goddess Flannery alit from her cloud and had these submissions carried forth by angels with graham cracker wings...

"Richard Shrek the Third"

"You've Got Hate Mail"

".M.N.T.C.H.U.D.(Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers)" m not sure if this fits the rules but it works for me!

(It does, that's just two films Ed.)

"The Quest of the Delta Force Knights"

"South Gorky Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut"

"Cat Ballou in the Hat"

"Honkytonk Man of the Year"

I thought I told you that Chris won't stop, I thought I told Chris won't stop, nuh-uh-ah-uh...

"The X-Men's Wive's Club"

"Island Of Dr. Zhivago"

"Bridget Jones's Motorcycle Diaries"

"That Thing You Xanadu"

"Cheech & Chong Still Thank You For Smokin'"

"Seven Year Samurai Itch"

The Seventeenth Submissions

2007-05-09T20:00:00.000-07:00

Just when the posts are almost as scarce as trees on the tundra, Brian Setzer. Chris makes these submissions sexy, and seventeen.

"Girl Six Pack"

"Breathless Than Zero"

"It's Patton: The Movie"

(Never in a thousand years would I have saw that coming. Ed.)

"The Break-Up The Creek"

"When Dirty Harry Met Chainsaw Sally"

"Deck The City Halls"

Sweet Little Sixteenth Submissions

2007-04-30T20:46:00.000-07:00

Don't read to far into the post title, it's apropos of a song title only, Chuck Berry.

Like a voodoo priest, X Dell resurrects the game and unfortunately, I had to strike the first one, as it was already done. Though the whole set is solid as Ashford and Simpson...

"A Slap Shot in the Dark (Paul Neumann and Peter Sellars star as blind hockey players.)"

"Up Close and Personal Best (Robert Redford tries to look presentable for Mariel Hemmingway.)"

"The Taking of Pelham One, Two, 300 (Armed with switchblades and semi-automatic weapons, fed-up NYC commuters defeat the Spartans at Thermopylae.)"

"She Bwana Devil (Starring Roseanne.)"

"The Eyes of Laura Mars Wide Shut (Faye Dunaway has premonitions of esoteric rituals.)"

"To Catch a Bicycle Thief (Grace Kelley installs Lo-Jack on her Schwinn.)Modern Times Square (Tim Curry updates his role as an influential DJ.)"

"Two for the Road Warrior (Mel Gibson makes quick work of Audrey Hepburn and Albert Finney.)"

The Ed guy had a few in reserve, just for this occasion...

"The La Bamba Exit To Brooklyn"

(Boo! Ed.)

"The SpongeWhatAboutBobSquarePants Movie"

"The Lords of Dogtown Discipline"

"The Man Who Would Be King Kong"

"La Femme Little Nicky"

"Goodfellas, Bad Boys And The Ugly"

"Dennis The Menace To Society"

The Big Fifteenth!

2007-04-16T20:42:00.000-07:00

I should've had these up in the morn, but as the Editor I have to make sure that these weren't overlaps or repeats. Amazingly, I have yet to have a complete overlap or repeat!

Yet again, Flannery flexes her might!

"Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home for the Holidays"

"Mad Dog and the Blades of Glory"

"In the Land of Amazon Women on the Moon"

"Meet the Swiss Family Robinsons"

"300 North Dallas FortyParis, Texas"

"Murder by Lucky Numbers"

"To Sir with Love, Actually"

(Sweet! Ed)

"The Urban Cowboy Way"

"The Lord of the Rings: Return of the Original Kings of Comedy"

"Murder, My Sweet Home Alabama"

A riposte from Chris, en garde, mes amis!

"A Lowdown Dirty Dancing Shame"

"A Scarface In The Crowd"

(Excellent and automatic H.O.F! Ed)

"Robocopycat"

(I'll buy that for a dollar, Sigorney. Ed)

"The Power Of One Night At McCool's"

"Life Is Beautiful Girls"

"Eragon With The Wind"

The Ed guy wants in too...

"The Terminal Velocity of Gary"

"The Pursuit of Happy Endings"

"Mr. GoodBarcelona"

"On Any Given Girl Friday"

"Legends of The Falling Down"

"Breaking, Vanishing Point of No Return"

Eddie Murphy, the Andes and Will Ferrell collide! In...
"Raw, Alive, Kicking And Screaming"

"National Blue Velvet"

"Five Easy Pieces of About Schmidt"

"Brian's Song Remains The Same"

"A Midsummer Night's Eve of Destruction"

The Fourteenth Submissions

2007-04-04T10:37:00.000-07:00

And so it begins again! X Dell, would you do the honors?

"Footloose Cannons (A tough detective, and his nearly psychotic partner take dancing lessons from Kevin Bacon.)"

"The Good Earth vs. the Flying Saucers (Our planet is a 20:1 longshot in this Paul Muni vehicle.)"

"The Urban Legend of Sleepy Hollow (Many people thought Ichabod Crane was a real person.)"

"Wild, Wild Westworld (Artemus Gordon’s Yul Bryner robots take over a two-horse town.)"

"Goodbye, Columbus Girl (Richard Dreyfus sneaks out on Buckeye Marsha Mason)"

"National Lampoon’s Animal House Party (Kid & Play wear togas and dance to the latest hip-hop tunes.)"

"A Groundhog Day at the Races (February 2, 1932: The Marx Brothers lose over and over again at the track)"

"Blowup in Smoke (Antonioni investigtes the possibility that he's made a Cheech and Chong movie.)"

"And Justice for All That Jazz (Pacino does bebop right.)"

(Which do I like better? This...)

"Paris, Texas Chainsaw Massacre. (Harry Dean Stanton’s murder spree spans two continents.)"

(...or this? Ed)

Raging Bull Durham (Robert DeNiro gives up boxing for baseball and Susan Sarandon.)

(Methinks "Raging Bull Durham!" Ed)

"The Man with the Golden Gunfight at O.K. Corral (James Bond’s nemesis goes back in time to take bets on the altercation between the Earps and the Clantons.)"

The Thirteenth Submissions

2007-03-28T20:40:00.000-07:00

Thirteen is a lucky number around here when Flannery kicks things off...

"The Joy Luck Fight Club"

(The first rule, about "The Joy Luck Fight Club," is that you don't talk to mom, about "The Joy Luck Fight Club." An automatic Hall of Fame lock. Ed)

"Bang The Tin Drum Slowly"

"The Unsinkable Jackie Brown"

"Galaxy Quest for Camelot"

"High Road to Chinatown"

"Breakfast Club At Tiffany's"

"The Incredible Shrinking Hulk Woman"

"I Never Promised You a Secret Rose Garden"

"Romy & Michelle's Rock and Roll High School Reunion"

"Red Dawn of the Dead"

Chris has yet another excellent set

"Better Kiss Me Off Deadly"

"The Wizard Of Osmosis Jones"

"The Singing Detective In The Rain"

"A Hard Day's Night Of The Living Dead"

"Beyond The Seabiscuit"

(Willll-bur, go sail-ing. Ed)

"Any Which Way But Bustin' Loose"

"Permanent Midnight Express"

"Fantastic Four Seasons"

"The Picture Perfect Storm"

Rust never sleeps, Neil Young, and Flannery sleeps even less than that...

"Wild Groundhogs Day"

"Hellraiser III: Motel Hell on Earth"

"Star 80 Wars: Episode III: Porky's Revenge of the Sith"

"Mr. Destiny Turns on the Radio"

"Dr. T and What the Women Want"

"The Sixth Sense and Sensibility"

"Road Trip to Bountiful"

"Kiss Me Goodbye, Mr. Chips"

"She's All That Jazz"

"Secondhand Lions in Winter"

The Twelveth Submissions

2007-03-26T10:12:00.000-07:00

Flannery has become just downright intimidating...

"Remember the Clash of the Titans"

"Heaven Can Wait Until Dark"

"Lady Jane and the Tramp"

"Beat the Devil in a Blue Dress"

"Eraser Head of State"

"Some Close Encounters of the Third Kind of Wonderful"

"The Sure Thing About Love"

"Home Alone for the Holidays"

"The Bad Broadcast News Bears"

"The Muppets Take the Manhattan Project"

While the titles of the Ed come to a close...

"Full Contact Croupier"

Julianne Moore goes to Hong Kong in "The End of The Infernal Affairs."

The Eleventh Submissions

2007-03-23T10:48:00.000-07:00

The Ed guy reaches into his DVD collection to counter the relentless Midwest onslaught...

"When Harry Met The Usual Suspects"

One of my crime faves + my favorite Paul Giamatti film = "Romeo Is Bleeding Sideways"

A new fave + a DMX fave = "The Departed Never Die Alone"

My most treasured DVD + a Jerry Lewis film that I'd never buy = "GoodCinderFella"

"The Bourne Elf Identity"

"True Underworld Romance"

"To Have and Have Not Layer Cake"

A Michael Mann film + another DMX film = "Collateral Belly"

"Little Big Men In Black"

I said it before and I'll say it again, you can not stop Flannery, you can only hope to contain her...

"Wet Hot American Summer of Sam"

"The Remains of the Day the Earth Stood Still"
(Nice, Clarice! Ed)

"Cheaper by the Dirty Dozen"

"Kelly's Last Action Hero"

"Not Without My Coal Miner's Daughter"

"Heartbreak Ridge Hotel"

"Howard's End of Days"

"Bad Medicine Man"

"Bachelor Party Girl"

"Warlock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels"

Chris offers up a masterful set...

"Good Willow Hunting"

"Catch Me If You Can't Hardly Wait"

"Fun With Dick Tracy And Calamity Jane"

"Something's Gotta Give My Regards To Broad Street"

"Syrianastasia"

"Ladder 49 Up (49 Up is a documentary)"

"Snakes On Planes, Trains, & Automobiles"

The Tenth Submissions

2007-03-21T20:52:00.000-07:00

The Goddess Flannery gives forth from her cornucopia...

"Honey, I Blew Up The Karate Kid"

"Rumble Fish In the Bronx"

"The Rush Hours"

"Enter the Dragon Slayer"

"The Da Vinci Code of Silence"

"Highlander: End Crying Game"

"Death Wish of a Salesman"

While Chris brings this down from Mt. Olympus

"The Perils Of Gwendoline In The Land Before Time Of Yik Yak"

(That's "The Perils of Gwendoline in The Land of The Yik Yak" + "The Land Before Time," folks. Chris always stumps yours truly at least once every submission and it's time to hit the IMDB. Ed).

"Saving Ryan's Private Parts"

"Baraka-ligula"

"Harold & Kumar Go To White Chick's Castle"

"The Third Quiet Elephant Man"

"My Big Fat Zorba The Greek's Wedding"

"A Fish Called Hotel Rwanda"

"Fools Rush Indiana Jones And The Last Crusade"

"Man Of The House Of Sand And Fog"

"One Stir Crazy Summer"

"Brian's Song Of The South"

"Five Easy Pieces Of April"

(Wow, where would Jack Nicholson's character want Katie Holmes to hold the turkey??? Ed)

"The Notting Hills Have Eyes"

The Ninth Submissions

2007-03-19T20:21:00.000-07:00

Yes, the William Tell Overture is Flannery's theme song

"The Cinderella Man with One Red Shoe"

"Big Momma's Animal House"

"Super Starship Troopers"

"Sin City Slickers"

"Fistfull of a Few Dollars More"

"The Dead Devil Men Don't Wear Plaid Prada (It's a stretch, I know)"

"Midnight Polar Express"

"Big Chill Daddy"

"The Meaning of the Life and Times of Judge Roy Bean"

"Working Girl, Interrupted"

While Chris cranks the Wagner and descends on us with...

"Biloxi Blues Brothers"

"McCabe & Mrs. Miller's Crossing"

"Endless Summer Rental"

"The Naked Guns Of Navarone"

"A Mystic River Runs Through It"

"The Devil And Daniel Webster Wear Prada (sorry, Flannery)"

"My Left Footloose"

That Ed guy chimes in with a few

"Bad Day At Picnic Hanging Rock"

"Dirty Harry And The Hendersons"

"The Wicker Man Friday"

"High School High Plains Drifter"

"The Outlaw Josey Whales of August"

"The Gypsy Mothman Prophesies"

(Hella weak! Ed)

Save us Chris, save us from that Ed guy

"The Squid And The Whale Rider"

"National Lampoon's Velvet Vacation"

(Nice! Ed)

"Breakin' 2: Electric Horseman Boogaloo"

"Bronco Billy Madison"

"Places In The Braveheart"

"Anatomy Of A Murderball"

The Eighth Submissions

2007-03-18T14:36:00.000-07:00

Flannery is prone to proficency...

"Gone With The Mighty Wind In Sixty Seconds"

"Taking Care Of Whatever Happened to Baby Jane"

"The Adventures of Priscilla, African Queen of the Desert"

"Quigley Down Under The Tuscan Sun"

"It Happened One Night At The Opera"

(One would think that someone would've came up with this game and this phrase way back in the 30's. Bravo, Flannery! Ed)

"Midnight Cannonball Run, Lolita, Run"

"Enemy of the Garden State"

"She's Having A Cry Baby"

"Runaway Corpse Bride"

Chris is not just some guy, see, chow mein?

"Throw Momma From The Trainspotting"

"Who Framed Roger & Me's Rabbit?"

"Boyz N The Parenthood"

"The Adventures In Babysitting Buckaroo Bonzai"

"Strange Brewster's Millions"

"Full Metal Jackass"

(Ha-hah! Ed)

"Innerspaceballs"

My head is box full of X Dell, and that's the way I like it...

"The Meaning of Life Stinks (Monty Python and Mel Brooks independently come to a dismal revelation)"

"John Tucker Must Die Another Day (Procrastinating cheerleaders wait for 007 to kill off their two-timing boyfriend.)"

"A Jesus Christ Superstar Is Born (The Messiah seeks fame and fortune in Hollywood.)"

"Ed Woodstock (The famed schlock director films a 1960s rock festival.)"

"Pretty in Pink Flamingos (Divine gives fashion tips to Molly Ringwald.)"

"Zorro, the Gay Bladerunner (George Hamilton stars as a swashbuckling android with alternative programming.)"

(On the Phillip K. Dick tangent, do tanning booths dream about George Hamilton? Ed)

"Kiss, Kiss Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (A thief, an actress, and a private eye purchase a flying car that drives itself.)"

"Everything You Wanted to Know about Casual Sex? But Were Afraid to Ask? (Lea Thompson and Victoria Jackson star in this Woody Allen comedy.)"

"I Am Curious Yellow Submarine (Private Gripweed hears voices from the unidentified submerged object that he spots on radar.)"

"The Trouble with Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone (John Forsythe and Shirley MacLaine critique the first movie about the boy wizard.)"

Yet, in the same day again, Flannery posits...

"Thirteen Days, Twelve Angry Men"

"The Last Tango & Cash in Paris"

"Cutthroat Island of Dr. Moreau"

"The Color of Purple Money"

"Mean Calendar Girls"

"Apocalypto Now"

"Raging Bullwinkle"

(Automatic All-Top Ten nominee. Ed)

"The Never Ending Love Story"

"The Same Time Machine Next Year"

"Ordinary People Under the Stairs"

The Seventh Submissions

2007-03-15T20:07:00.000-07:00

The Popeye, always in focus, says "Who's being redundant? Who's being redundant? How about..."

"Escape to Brokeback Mountain (Escape to Witch Mountain + Brokeback Mountain)- A 'flamboyant' millionaire tricks two straight boys into running away to his very secret mountain village.

"Return from Brokeback Mountain (Return from Witch Mountain + Brokeback Mountain) - The boys come back. Oh, how they've changed."

Get lost OPEC, this blog is powered by Flannery

"Twelve Angry Grumpy Old Men"

"Circle of Friends with Money"

"Good Night, Nurse & Good Luck!"

(Yakko, Wakko and Flannery? Ed)

"The Last Samurai Boy Scout"

"Playing for Time Bandits"

"The Day After Tomorrow Never Dies"

"The Good Wife, The Bad Santa, and The Coyote Ugly"

(Heh-heh-heh! Ed)

We're having a "China Syndrome" here, as a radioactive Chris melts us down with...

"Slapstickshot"

"Guesss Who's Coming To My Dinner With Andre?"

"The Love Bugsy"

"Bullitts Over Broadway"

"A Grizzly Man For All Seasons"

"The Killing Field Of Dreams"

(Let me at that soundtrack! "You're never going to get to- If you build it, they will come." Ed)

Oh no, mathmaticians and Lauryn Hill, it's the X Dell factor!

"The Deep Throat (Jacqueline Bisset and Linda Lovelace use their talents to avoid a conflict with treasure hunters after discovering a wrecked ship off the coast of the Bahamas.)"

(That one stirred the loins, then the next four put me on the floor. Ed)

"There’s Something about Mary Poppins (A number of ne’er-do-well men competitively scheme to hire an a-list nanny for their kids.)"

"Shaft, Shane, Harry & Tonto (The gay version of Bob, Carol, Ted & Alice)"

"Solyent Green Acres (The residents of Hooterville wonder what’s happened to Sam Drucker, Fred Ziffel and Mr. Haney.)"

(I'm sorry, this is a funny as hell post. Unfortunately only half of it is a film, so you'll have to highlight it with your mouse to see it. Ed)

"Nanook of the North by Northwest (Soviet Intelligence mistakes a 1920s Inuit for a super spy.)"

"Amazon Women on the Moon over Parador (Richard Dreyfuss is forced to impersonate John Landis.)"

"Ah Yes, Something New Has Been Added!"

2007-03-14T16:50:00.000-07:00

I've added an addendum to the rules, Ansel Adams, to clear the picture up a little.

I try to police it and it would be a big help if you could pitch in as well. If you can, before posting your submission, please type in the keywords of your titles, and click "Search Blog" to make sure that your combination is not redundant. Keep America and this blog, beautiful.

The Sixth Submissions

2007-03-13T19:49:00.000-07:00

Annnddd they're off!

He sure is Sporting some Big Shoulders...

"Flags of Our Fathers of the Bride of Chucky"

"The 40-Year Old Virgin Suicide Kings"

"In the Army of Darkness Now"

"Waiting for Guffman to Exhale"

"Black Hawk Down By Law"

"Falling Down from the Mountain"

"The Last Samurai Waltz"

"I Am Trying to Break Your Heart, Huckabees"

Chris wanders into Errol Morris territory and says "I'm a big documentary fan, so here's a few more obscure ones"

"Fast, Cheap, & Out Of Control Room"

"Sherman's March Of The Penguins"

"Paradise Lost Boys Of Sudan"

"The Fog Of War Room"

"Wheel Of Time Indefinite"

The Life of Flannery Alden is intense, as she says "Chris, I love: Wheel of Time Indefinite! Here's mine"

"The History of Wayne's World, Part I"

"That Funny Thing You Do Happened To Me On The Way To The Forum"

"The Fast Food and the Furious Nation"

"Hellboys Don't Cry"

"Rocky 1984"

"Super Quiet Man"

"Under The Cherry Moon Over Parador"

"Hot Shots In The Dark"

"Repo Man of the Year"

Chris comes back with in the same day

"Beyond The Harper Valley Of The Dolls, P.T.A."

"It's A Wonderful Life Of Brian"

"Nanook Of The North Dallas Forty"

"The Cider House Rules Of Engagement"

"Butch Cassidy And The Sundance Kid Stays In The Picture"

"Police Academy 4: Citizen Kane On Patrol"

"Prince Of Crimson Tides"

X Dell dips back in the well and sez, "okay, I've checked with blog search, but was unable to find the following titles and descriptions..."

"Help! Psycho! (The Beatles check into the Bates Motel.)"

"Fahrenheit 9/11:14 (The Bush family’s Saudi connections are examined from five different points of view.)"
(Wow, someone else in this country actually saw "11:14?" Unbelievable! Ed.)

"The Third Mandingo (A slave impregnates his master’s wife, and then flees to Vienna, where Orson Welles has promised him a job.)"

"Jaws-II, The Birds-10 (Manager Bo Derek leads her baseball team to an unlikely upset in Alfred Hitchcock’s only sports movie.)"

"Poltergeist II, Jaws III (Score of the consolation game.)"

"Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace II Society(Street hustlers attack the Jedi.)"

"Forbidden Planet of the Apes (Leslie Nielsen clashes with Roddy McDowall as they each try to figure out which one of them is in the wrong movie.)"

"Cotton Comes to Harlem...Nights...After Hours (Eddie Murphy, Griffin Dunne, Rosanna Arquette and Richard Pryor track down a shipment of aspirin bottle linings stolen by Redd Foxx.)"

"Shampoo Network (Paddy Chayefsky drama about a very specialized cable station. Starring Warren Beatty, Julie Christie, Faye Dunaway, and Peter Finch as a hairdresser who is mad as hell, and can’t take this anymore)"

"West Side Story of O (In order to join her brother’s street gang, Natalie Wood must submit to a sexually humiliating initiation.)"

A Prayer For John Donald Carlucci

2007-03-12T16:46:00.000-07:00

A pox on Yahoo and a pox on blog-city. I have just received an email some three days after it was intended, John Donald Carlucci has pancreatitis. If you go to here, his sister posted the general information in the "comments section."

Please take the time to say a prayer for him and try to post a get well, though I don't know how strong his comment moderation is.

Thank you

P.S. An update from John's sister Leslie via John's blog:

John was moved from ICU late this afternoon. He will be in the hospital for at least another couple of days. At this point we are just waiting on test to come back. His color looks good and he was awake and talking for awhile today. He is not aloud any food or drink. That of course is making him very unpleasant. They said this occurred because of extremely high cholesterol and he is diabetic. We are waiting to hear if the diabetes is primary or secondary. He had an MRI today and should know tomorrow if he is going to require surgery. Friday he was in critical condition. The doctor said we almost lost him. That is very, very scary..... he's a pain in the ass, but I love him. Thanks for any prayers. Leslie

The Fifth Submissions

2007-03-11T20:22:00.000-07:00

I have been refraining from commenting for the most part. Because I am enjoying this immensely and I think that all of the submissions stand very well all on their own. So much so, that I don't want to step on them with third-rate puns. So please don't misinterpret my general lack of commentary as indifference. Ed

The Pop Eye really kicks things off with...

"My Big Fat Greek Wedding Crashers"

"I'm Dirty Dancing as Fast as I Can"

"Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventures in Babysitting"

"Ferris Bueller's Day Off the Chain"

"The Pretty in Pink Panther"

"Breakfast at Tiffany's Club"

"In The Line of St. Elmo's Fire"

"Better Off Drop Dead Gorgeous"

"Night of the Living Dead Poets Society"

"Can't Buy Me The Love Bug"

"Rain Man of La Mancha"

X Dell accelerates with

"How Stella Got Her Groove Back to the Future"

"Gone with the Wind that Shakes the Barley"

"A Hard Day's Night Shift"

"The Sound of Music, Man"

"The Distinguished Gentleman Prefers Blondes. (Okay, so I fudged that one a little.)"

"The Lost Weekend at Bernie's"

"A Man Called Horsefeathers"

"Orgy of the Dead Man Walking (Starring Susan Sarandon, and directed by Ed Wood)"

"The Spy Who Loved Me, Myself & Irene"

"The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind Games"

Shakespeare said "out damn spot." Not "out Dead Spot on the Web"

"The Remains of the Day of the Dead"

"The Lost World: Gosford Park 2"

"The Repo Man Who Knew Too Much"

"The Blue Velveteen Rabbit"

I keep coming up with ones that aren't quite right, like "The Great White North By Northwest" or "Das Boots Were Made For Waking"

(Sorry, the last half is not a film, you have to highlight it with a mouse to see it. Ed)

The Uneffenbelivable Mish Mash that is Amy said via email...

"Harold and Maude go to White Palace (Harold and Maude + Harold and Kumar go to White Castle + White Palace)"(Heh-heh-heh! Ed)

"Life as a Road House (Life as a House + Road House)"

"The People Under the Stairs vs Larry Flynt (The People Under the Stairs + The People vs Larry Flynt)"

We cannot stop Flannery, we can only hope to contain her...

"Moonstruck Mermaids"

"Sunset Striptease"

"Singin' in the Purple Rain"

"Mad Max Dugan Returns"
(Literally as I am editing this, "Max Dugan" is on AMC! Ed)

"Strangers on a Night Train to Paris"

"Dead Body Heat"

"Howard the Duck Soup"

"Nine to Five Easy Pieces"

"Come Back to the Slaughterhouse Five and Dime, Jimmy Dean, Jimmy Dean"

"Mother, Juggs & Speed 2: Cruise Control"

The Fourth Submissions

2007-03-10T09:17:00.000-08:00

Chris contemplates...

"The Forty Year Old Virgin Suicides"

"(This one's a stretch) The Bridge On The River Kwai The Beloved Country"

"Thirteen Days'd & Confused"

"A Bridge Too Far And Away"

"Star 80 Wars"
(Ooooh, nice one George Lucas Bogdonavich! Ed)

"Fast Times At Ridgemont High Plains Drifter"

"Apocalyspe Now And Then"

The Pop Eye preaches

"Mad City of Angels."

And..."Tommy Boy in the Plastic Bubble."

I guess I should quit with the Travolta flicks though. Should I move on to Will Ferrell?

"About Last Night at the Roxbury"

"Old School of Rock"

"Zorro, The Gay Blades of Glory"

"The Madness of Curious King George"
(That works on sooo many levels. Ed)

Coaster Punchman brings a bit of his world with...

"Girls Just Wanda Whip Wall Street"

The Pop Eye jumps back in with

"Over The Top Hedge" - Animated. A squirrel named Sly has to arm wrestle an evil, white-trash groundhog. And then Sammy Hagar sings about it...probably with Randy Newman.

Flannery elevates the game with

"Crossroads to Wellville"

"The Scarlet Love Letter"

"Things to Do in Denver When You're Dead Again"

"Bring it on the Waterfront"

"Die Hard with a Vengeance Another Day"

"Dirty Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban"

"Mystic Pizza Deliverance"

"Jumpin' Jack Flashdance"

"Room with a View to a Kill"

The Third Submissions

2007-03-08T19:59:00.001-08:00

The Pop Eye, ever watchful, says...

"Jacob's Ladder 49"

"Battlefield Earth Girls are Easy"
(Note, this is my fave, as well as L. Ron's. Ed)

"Snow White Man's Burden"

"Two of a Kind if By Sea"

The Best Friend a Procrastinator can have, Katie sez

"The Bride of Frankenstein" + "The Green Slime" = "The Green Slime Bride of Frankenstein"

X Dell fires from the hip...

Hmm I can think of:

(1) "Wag the Dog Day Afternoon."

(2) "Anatomy of a Murder at 1600."

(3) "To Live and Die in L.A. Story."

(4) "Eight Men Out There."

Taking Katie's tack, I can come up with "Rocky Horror Picture Show" + "The Last Picture Show" = "The Last Rocky Horror Picture Show."

Whoa, there's someone new to the mix and the Procrastinating blogs, Flannery. Who is Prone to Whimsy...

"Mr. and Mrs. Smith Go To Washington"

"My Own Private Benjamin"

"The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood's Travelling Pants"
(Note folks, this is a logical progression as I've read a review that stated that they were basically the same film. Ed)

"Stomp the Longest Yard"

The Second Submissions

2007-03-06T20:28:00.001-08:00

Becka said...

I was gonna suggest "Death Blow Out," and then I realized that "Death Blow" wasn't a real movie."Aw man, we're missing the Death Blow!"

So I replied...

Um,"Blow Out" + "Death Race 2000" = "Death Blow Out?"

Haahnster said "go Bears" and...

"Girl Fight" + "Fight Club" = "Girl Fight Club"

"Roger & Me" + "You, Me & Dupree" = "You, Me & Roger Dupree"

The First Submissions

2007-02-17T14:23:00.000-08:00

From John D. Carlucci:

"Lost City of Children of Men"

"Marathon Man of La Mancha"

"From Russia With Love American-Style"

"Dark Waterworld"

"Shakespeare in Love Actually"

From Angel's Mind:

"Sky Captain Correlli And The World Of Tomorrow’s Mandolin"

"Interview with Buffy The Vampire Slayer"

"The Shaggy Dog Day Afternoon"

From My Best Online Friend Forever, Katie:

"Psycho Step Monster"

From The Almighty Beckeye:

"Saturday Night Fever Pitch"

Stranger Than Pulp Fiction"

"A Swordfish Called Wanda."

"The Three Face/Offs of Eve"

"Urban Midnight Cowboy Legend"

"A Love Song of the South for Bobby Long Day's Journey into Night"

He's Not Heavy, He's My Blogger, James:

"Close Encounters of Richard III"

"All the President's Men in Black"

"The Godfather of the Bride"

"Tango and Crash"

Now, anybody who signs up as Anonymous, gets a number corresponding to the sequence that they submitted. Thus, from Anonymous #1:

"The Unbearable Lightness of Being Earnest"

The best blogger in all of Canada, Dale:

"Match Point Blank"

When there are enough submissions that are left in the "comments" section, they will be added into another submission section.

The Beginning

2007-02-17T14:18:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine and I had a conversation years ago, where we came up with a word-slash-title game. You combine two disparate movie titles into one, as if it was a natural thing all along. Thus, "The Bad Lieutenant's Wife" was born.

So, using the aforemention as an example: "The Bad Lieutenant" and "The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and Her Lover" would become "The Bad Lieutenant's Wife."

Capisce?

"Three Men And A Little Lady" + "The Lady In The Lake" = "Three Men And The Lady In The Lake."

This was before Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon, I think, but I'm not entirely sure. So using a movie with Kevin Bacon, "The River Wild" and couple that with "A River Runs Through It." You get the "The River Runs Wild Through It."

Any movie with "Friday" in the title is too easy. "The Friday The 13th After Next," right?

You can mix eras up, by taking something older and combining it with something a little more recent. Thus, "Bad Santa At Black Rock." You can use a maximum of four titles, because things tend to be confusing after that.

If you can, before posting your submission, please type in keywords of your titles, click "Search Blog" to make sure that your combination is not redundant.

Surely, you the reader can do better, "Jude Law, The Obscure"...well, that's not really a movie title compliation, but you get the idea.