From Pop Hangover

Everyone has a little Bad Lieutenant's Wife in them, including Pop Hangover.com...



And you thought that Shrek was the only one.

The Twenty-Eighth Submissions

Ed says, "This time? I'm prepared."

"War of The World According To Garp"

"Annie Get Your Gun Crazy"

"Four Jacks And A Jill Face/Off"

"Psycho, Cornbread, Earl And Me"

"Falling Down The 39 Steps"

"To Catch A Thief, Scream, and Dial 'M' for Murder"

And he asks, "who else is in?"


It's no surprise that Flannery rises to the challenge and dominates-

"Fried Green Hornet Tomatoes"

"Pay It Fast Forward"

"Murder in the First by Numbers"

"Hot Tub Timecop Machine"

"Season of the Witches of Eastwick"

"No String Theories Attached"

"2012 Angry Men"

"Mallratattui"

"Fools Rush In the Line of Fire"

"Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Karate Kid"

"Armed and Dangerous Liaisons"

"Waking The Dead Up In Reno"

Katherine Tomlinson's anthology "Just Another Day In Paradise" is here!

Life in the big city is not for the faint of heart. Shadows lurk in sunlight; blood spills on floors; hope and dread are just two sides of a neon sign; and loneliness is a paper cut on the heart, an invisible wound that eventually kills. In these stories, Katherine Tomlinson explores the dark heart of urban living. It is what it is...Just Another Day in Paradise.

Information on this outstanding anthology and a sample of the first ten pages are right here at Smashwords.com.

The Bad Lieutenant's Rebus

I was going to make this simple and post a photo from a certain site, but they've made it so you can't repost their pics. The original was done on a movie marquee (though I believe that the third film was planted there or photoshopped in, as it has been out of the theaters for some time). So, I'll do a recreation. First, do you know what a rebus is?

noun \ˈrē-bəs\
Definition of REBUS
: a representation of words or syllables by pictures of objects or by symbols whose names resemble the intended words or syllables in sound; also : a riddle made up of such pictures or symbols

So, add the three titles of the movie posters below, and you will get our latest installment-

Jake Good and InfoMania get in on the action

I believe it was on InfoMania, though it was definitely during a Viral Video segment that I saw picture of this:




Which, this was apparently originally from Jake Good's Flickr. Good one, Jake.

The Hollywood Roaster

Everyone has a little Bad Lieutenant in them...

...Even the people over at the Hollywood Roaster, who were on the same wavelength as Flannery.

The Twenty-Seventh Submissions

Six months later, The Bad Lieutenant's Wife has returned!

Flannery has conjured some more up (less one redundancy, with "Mr. & Mrs. Smith")-

"Lars and the Real Girl Interrupted "

"The Firm Saint"

"Harold & Maude & Kumar Go to White Castle"

"Looking for Mr. Goodbar! O, Brother, Where Art Thou?"

"A Life Less Ordinary, People!"

"Charlie Wilson's Prom Wars"

"Four Wedding Crashers and a Funeral"

"I Love You Man! Good Night and Good Luck"

Ed says, "after over six months to think it over? I still got nuthin'."

"Road Trip To Hell And Back"

"The Cook, The Thief, His Wife & The Gorgeous Hussy"

"Bananas Return To The Planet of The Apes"

"Drag Me To Hell, Beth Cooper"

The Twenty-Sixth Submissions

Becky says, "Yay, BLW is back!" Then she brings the pain-

"I Love You, Man of La Mancha"

"Law Abiding Citizen Kane"

"Untamed Paper Heart"

"I Am The Legend Of Bagger Vance"

"Where The Wild Things We Lost In The Fire Are"

"Rachel Getting Married To The Mob"

"Away From Her We Go"

"(500) Strange Days of Summer"

"The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly Truth"

"The Funny People Under The Stairs"

"Land Of The Lost Boys"

"We Are Forgetting Sarah Marshall"

"Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse Of The Black Girl With A Pearl Earring"

"The Curious Case of Private Benjamin Button"


Ed says, "after eight months to think it over? I got nuthin'"

"Soylent Groundhog Goodburger."

The Twenty-Fifth Submissions

When we last left The Bad Lieutenant's Wife, the bad Ed was too busy to save her and left her hanging from the precipice like an indifferent Simon Legree.

It took an idiot sp*mmer with more than an hour to kill and a nationally syndicated cartoonist to revive The Bad Lietenant's Wife...if only for a moment.

Sridhar J left off with-

"The Scary Simpson's Movie"

"My Best Friend's Wedding Crashers"

"Behind Thin Red Enemy Lines"

"Of A Few Good Mice And Men (I'm not sure if this has been done already, the search isn't as reliable as it once was. Ed)"

"Happy Go Lucky Gilmore"

"It's A Wonderful Bug's Life"

"When Harry Potter Met Sally"


Bucky Katt (sic) a.k.a. Darby Conley weighs in with this one and you have to click it to make it bigger-

The Twenty-Fourth Submissions

X. Dell pushed and pushed, and then he revived The Bad Lieutenant's Wife on his blog. Normally I don't encourage this and someone who blatantly ripped me off on the Internet (not Mr. Dell, I repeat, not Mr. Dell) should pray that I do not get ahead enough on my overtime pay to hire a lawyer. Yet The X Man has been lobbying for TV shows for ages and I said that if he wanted to do TV shows, by all means, do TV shows.

He asked his blog's readers and they came up with some good ones, which he posted on his blog. X. Dell notified me of this, and he forwarded them, unlike a certain rip-off artist. There are some serious gems in here, but why are you reading this? When you should be reading the Twenty-fourth Submissions-

John B

Dr. No Mo' Better Blues

Devin

Darkness Falls On Golden Pond - After getting the family back together, and remembering happy times, a gang of bloodthirsty inter-dimensional witches come to Golden Pond, and gives the family 24 hours to decide who will be their blood sacrifice.

Libby

Dances with American Werewolves in London

Throw Momma from the Midnight Meat Train

Foam

Debbie Does Santa Clause Too in Dallas - A movie about Christmas time fundraising.

Gentlemen Prefer Blondes’ Booty Call - Bodacious blonds call on gentlemen.

The Story of O Brother, Where Art Thou?-A young woman's search for her brother who has been sold as a sex slave.

The Last Tango in Paris Date Movie - A closeted lesbian widow finds herself obsessed with the fiancée of Grant, the guy at the diner.

The Departed Walk the Line - Zombie horror flick featuring the Dead Kennedys.

K9/She/Chicory/Mean Lovey Dovey Coolidge

Dressed to Kill Bill,Vol.1

The Hills Have Eyes of Laura Mars [And she wants them back!]

American History X-Men

Touch of Evil Dead

Malcolm X-Men

Blue Velvet Lagoon: Two teens' sexual awakening is anything but tender when it is interrupted by a nitrous sniffing madman.

Seven Beauties Samurai: Samurai rescue Italian army deserters from a terrifying prison madam, only to be turned into transvestite geisha prostitutes.

Vanilla Blue Sky: Horny Jessica Lange embarrasses husband through her adulterous affair with disfigured Scientoligist.

The Lion King Kong: A giant ape f***s up the Circle of life.

BlackuLa Bamba: A hip-hop vampire goes on a blood sucking rampage every time he hears a Mexican beat.

As Good as the Bad and Ugly Gets: A story of 3 western desperadoes with obsessive compulsive disorder.

Dead Man Walking Tall: Sheriff Buford T. Pusser goes too far in when he kills a nun who befriends him in prison.

Hang Em High School Musical: Disney CEO snaps when his stable of teen tarts make a porno.

Bob and Carol and Ted and Alice and Turner and Hooch: *explicit X-rated film featuring bestiality *

Black Rain Man: An autistic man gets the better of the Yakuza.

Animal House of Wax: Low budget horror film where an entire fraternity is picked off one by one; dipped in wax and put on display at the "college" museum.

Air Force One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest: Obama realizes he can't fix anything and leaves the country.

Sridhar J

Sex and the City of Angels - Four women in search of love(?!) find spiritual fulfillment.

The Hollow Man Who Knew Too M- A brave woman gets back her child kidnapped by a near-invisible man.

Top Guns of Navarone - Tom Cruise fights for the Allies in WW2, Epic win for Axis.

Silence of the Lions for Lambs - Serial killer among the US troops in Afghanistan.

Stuart Little Women - Of women and mice.

The Bridges over River Kwai in Madison County - British army regiment futile attempts to re-colonize the USA.

An Inconvenient Truth about Cats and Dogs - How cats and dogs are destroying the environment.

The Full Monty Python and the Holy Grail - The Pythonites get nekkid.

Six Days Seven Boogie Nights - A mismatched couple crash-lands on an island where a porn movie is being shot.

The Other Mean Boleyn Girls - There are more Boleyn sisters than we thought ... and uh-oh.

Confessions of a Dangerous Shopaholic Mind - Shopping till you drop ... dead.

Girl, Interrupted Next Door - A small town boy falls in love with a borderline-depressive girl.

Cold Brokeback Mountain - Two gay guys fall in love but the sex is frigid.

He's Just Not That Into You, Me and Dupree - About a guy who is strictly monogamous.

Sleeping with the Enemy of the State - Matahari meets Drive-in.

What Happens in Vegas Every Spring - A documentary about seasonal time business variations in Las Vegas.

Death at Four Weddings and a Funeral - A violent bunch that likes to kill at weddings.

The Runaway Princess Bride - A princess who runs away with her girlfriend.

American Beauty and the Beast - Beauty and the beast set in Kenosha, Wisconsin.

Analyze This Confession of a Dangerous Mind - The Unabomber goes to see a shrink.

Bringing Down the Haunted House - Queen Latifah as a vampire slayer.

Fifty-Four First Dates - Drew Barrymore goes to Studio 54 to find a date.

The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas Chainsaw Massacre - doesn't need a log-line!

Dude, Where's My Carmen - a French opera with the "dudes."

Million Dollar Baby's Day Out - Rich kid strays away from nanny and into a boxing ring.

The First Wives Fight Club - Three divorced women want to get away from it all by fighting on the streets.

The Twenty-Third Submissions

Rust never sleeps, and neither does The Bad Lieutenant's Wife! It's been nearly a year since the last submission. Flannery decided to wake this blog from its slumber and she chooses to fight the cold, cold winter of Ohio (note, with nary a yellow snowball in the list) with-

"Scooby Doo and the Reluctant American Werewolf in London"

"Get Smart Shorty"

"The Dark Knight's Tale"

"Dr. No Reservations"

"Charlie Wilson's War of the Roses"

"Jumper Cable Guy"

"No Country for Three Old Men and a Baby"

"An American Gangster in Paris"

"Love Story in the Time of Cholera"

"We're No Snow Angels"

"Good Night the Good, the Bad and the Ugly, and Good Luck."

"Pirates of the Carribean: Men in Black Pearls"

"Ocean's Twelve Angry Men"

"National Treasure: Book of the Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood"

"Fun with Dick and Lady Jane"

That Ed guy? He's completely unprepared and that is odd, considering he's had over eleven months to get it together. He panics and goes to his Fandango email for scraps-

"Underworld: Rise of The Mallcops"

"Bloody Inkheart Valentine"

"Cujo, Marley & Me"

"How To Marry A Slumdog Millionaire, Without Really Trying"

This Is Almost A Contribution

The multiplex in my wife's hometown almost posted a contribution. I am not very happy with another blog, who may or may not have "borrowed" my idea, but I can't stray to far from my writing to address this offense and devote time to it. Regardless, I will be writing to a few great minds, in an effort to help get this blog some fresh blood.

Issue Number Four of Astonishing Adventures is finally here!

Click here at the Issu site, if you want to view it online.

And click here, if you want to buy a hardcopy version from Amazon.

John has also put together an AAM screensaver.

Sorry This Is The Official Cover of AAM #4

Sorry folks, this is the official cover of Issue #4 of AAM.

Of course this cover tells an entirely different story and while I'm partial to the other version, this one adds so much more.

The New Cover Of Astonishing Adventures Magazine!

Ladies and Gentlemen, I have been granted the privilege to bring you the cover of the Fourth Issue of Astonishing Adventures Magazine, just before it officially goes to print.

Don't you think that John Carlucci did a wonderful job? Not to mention that the rain really gives her depth and a third dimension. I know that she's only an illustration and please don't tell my wife, but I think that I'm in love.

A B.L.W. Contributor Hits The Big Time

Hey, B.L.W. contributor Katie Schwartz has been interviewed by Farmhouse Magazine, in anticpation of her soon to be released book "Emotionally Pantsed!"

Go check it out!



P.S. Don't you just love that book title?

The Third Issue of Astonishing Adventures Is Here!

The greatest pulp online magazine is back with its exciting third issue!

You can download it here at Media Fire...

Or you can read it here at Issuu.

The Twenty-Second Submissions

Becky says "how about 'The Ghost and Mr. Chicken and Mrs. Muir?' Two of my favorite movies!"

The Paper Anniversary of The Bad Lieutenant's Wife

By the time I click "publish post" on this submission, this blog will be hours short of its first birthday (and the crowd goes wild!). Who knew? I certainly didn't and the submissions that are forever on these pages, have amused, impressed, and even stupefied me in their humor and brilliance.

I salute each and every person who has submitted their take on this game and you all should pat yourself on the back. A game is only is good as its players and each of you should be tested for steroids/performance enhancing drugs...no seriously, drop this blue tablet in the toilet and fill the cup. I'll also need a hair sample and I don't want to hear any nonsense about shy kidneys.

Beware now, as this editor will get self-indulgent and pick the best of that guy Ed's submissions. Remember, only you can prevent forest fires and that guy Ed, by creating more submissions of your own-

"When Harry Met The Usual Suspects"

"National Blue Velvet"

"True Underworld Romance"

"On Any Given Girl Friday"

"Five Easy Pieces of About Schmidt"

"Goodfellas, Bad Boys And The Ugly"

"Cloverfield of Dreams"

"Play Gorillas In The Misty For Me"

"The Best Truman In Show"

"The Bourne Elf Identity"

The Twenty-first Submissions

Who's ready for more? Spot serves it up like he's at the Australian Open-

"National Velvet: Book of Secrets (A drug-addled Liz Taylor teams up with Nicholas Cage in this adventure yarn to prove that Abraham Lincoln was actually assassinated by John Wilkes Booth's horse.)"

"Juno Country For Old Men. (the new Cohen brothers movie in which a pop-culture-reference-dropping teen mom puts her stash of smack up for adoption. It's got Jason Bateman!)"

Ed tries to return the volley with-

"Half-baked, Full Frontal Double Indemnity"

"The Glass House Of Mirth"

"Boxing Helena Troy"

"The Best Truman In Show"

"Blazing And Confused Saddles"

Spot rushes the net with-

The Cohen brothers return with "There Will Be Blood Simple" This confused tribute to film noir westerns has detectives, dames, cowboys, oil, and a cameo by Frances McDormand's underpants.

And a little something for the tween crowd: "Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus: War of the Worlds Concert Tour" In this remake of the classic H.G. Wells story, martians invade the east coast, only to find that they have no resistance to crappy Disneypop. For god's sake, root for the martians.

X. Dell jumps down in the court and chaos ensues-

"I Know What You Did Last Summer of Sam (Somebody spied on David Berkowitz)."

"Mr. Mari’s Little Drummer Girls (Diane Keaton stars as a drug addicted prostitute who doubles as a spy)."

"Love Finds Amos and Andrew (Andy) Hardy (Samuel L. Jackson and Mickey Rooney both get lucky).Bananas! Meatballs! Cold Turkey! (A gripping drama about a restaurant with a limited menu)."

"Get on the Short Bus (Richard Belzer and Andre Braugher enjoy an orgy en route to the Million Man March)."

(The Ed will make a few exceptions for old school pron movies, because they were technically movies released in theaters and technically, they had scripts)
"Debbie Does North Dallas Forty (In this sequel, Bambi Woods branches out to the suburbs.)."

"Bad Boys on the Side (Whoopi Goldberg and Drew Barrymore challenge Will Smith and Martin Lawrence in a contest to determine which pair can chew more scenery)."

"Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid Again (Because of hypnosis, Steve Martin can’t recall a serious fashion faux pas)"

"The Opposite of Sex and the Single Girl (A film about marriage)."

"A Repo Man for All Seasons (Harry Dean Stanton refuses to steal the popemobile despite Henry VIII’s order)."