Hey, B.L.W. contributor Katie Schwartz has been interviewed by Farmhouse Magazine, in anticpation of her soon to be released book "Emotionally Pantsed!"
Go check it out!
P.S. Don't you just love that book title?
Friday, May 2, 2008
The Third Issue of Astonishing Adventures Is Here!
The greatest pulp online magazine is back with its exciting third issue!
You can download it here at Media Fire...
You can download it here at Media Fire...
Or you can read it here at Issuu.
Saturday, February 23, 2008
The Twenty-Second Submissions
Becky says "how about 'The Ghost and Mr. Chicken and Mrs. Muir?' Two of my favorite movies!"
Sunday, February 17, 2008
The Paper Anniversary of The Bad Lieutenant's Wife
By the time I click "publish post" on this submission, this blog will be hours short of its first birthday (and the crowd goes wild!). Who knew? I certainly didn't and the submissions that are forever on these pages, have amused, impressed, and even stupefied me in their humor and brilliance.
I salute each and every person who has submitted their take on this game and you all should pat yourself on the back. A game is only is good as its players and each of you should be tested for steroids/performance enhancing drugs...no seriously, drop this blue tablet in the toilet and fill the cup. I'll also need a hair sample and I don't want to hear any nonsense about shy kidneys.
Beware now, as this editor will get self-indulgent and pick the best of that guy Ed's submissions. Remember, only you can prevent forest fires and that guy Ed, by creating more submissions of your own-
"When Harry Met The Usual Suspects"
"National Blue Velvet"
"True Underworld Romance"
"On Any Given Girl Friday"
"Five Easy Pieces of About Schmidt"
"Goodfellas, Bad Boys And The Ugly"
"Cloverfield of Dreams"
"Play Gorillas In The Misty For Me"
"The Best Truman In Show"
"The Bourne Elf Identity"
I salute each and every person who has submitted their take on this game and you all should pat yourself on the back. A game is only is good as its players and each of you should be tested for steroids/performance enhancing drugs...no seriously, drop this blue tablet in the toilet and fill the cup. I'll also need a hair sample and I don't want to hear any nonsense about shy kidneys.
Beware now, as this editor will get self-indulgent and pick the best of that guy Ed's submissions. Remember, only you can prevent forest fires and that guy Ed, by creating more submissions of your own-
"When Harry Met The Usual Suspects"
"National Blue Velvet"
"True Underworld Romance"
"On Any Given Girl Friday"
"Five Easy Pieces of About Schmidt"
"Goodfellas, Bad Boys And The Ugly"
"Cloverfield of Dreams"
"Play Gorillas In The Misty For Me"
"The Best Truman In Show"
"The Bourne Elf Identity"
Thursday, January 24, 2008
The Twenty-first Submissions
Who's ready for more? Spot serves it up like he's at the Australian Open-
"National Velvet: Book of Secrets (A drug-addled Liz Taylor teams up with Nicholas Cage in this adventure yarn to prove that Abraham Lincoln was actually assassinated by John Wilkes Booth's horse.)"
"Juno Country For Old Men. (the new Cohen brothers movie in which a pop-culture-reference-dropping teen mom puts her stash of smack up for adoption. It's got Jason Bateman!)"
Ed tries to return the volley with-
"Half-baked, Full Frontal Double Indemnity"
"The Glass House Of Mirth"
"Boxing Helena Troy"
"The Best Truman In Show"
"Blazing And Confused Saddles"
Spot rushes the net with-
The Cohen brothers return with "There Will Be Blood Simple" This confused tribute to film noir westerns has detectives, dames, cowboys, oil, and a cameo by Frances McDormand's underpants.
And a little something for the tween crowd: "Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus: War of the Worlds Concert Tour" In this remake of the classic H.G. Wells story, martians invade the east coast, only to find that they have no resistance to crappy Disneypop. For god's sake, root for the martians.
X. Dell jumps down in the court and chaos ensues-
"I Know What You Did Last Summer of Sam (Somebody spied on David Berkowitz)."
"Mr. Mari’s Little Drummer Girls (Diane Keaton stars as a drug addicted prostitute who doubles as a spy)."
"Love Finds Amos and Andrew (Andy) Hardy (Samuel L. Jackson and Mickey Rooney both get lucky).Bananas! Meatballs! Cold Turkey! (A gripping drama about a restaurant with a limited menu)."
"Get on the Short Bus (Richard Belzer and Andre Braugher enjoy an orgy en route to the Million Man March)."
(The Ed will make a few exceptions for old school pron movies, because they were technically movies released in theaters and technically, they had scripts)
"Debbie Does North Dallas Forty (In this sequel, Bambi Woods branches out to the suburbs.)."
"Bad Boys on the Side (Whoopi Goldberg and Drew Barrymore challenge Will Smith and Martin Lawrence in a contest to determine which pair can chew more scenery)."
"Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid Again (Because of hypnosis, Steve Martin can’t recall a serious fashion faux pas)"
"The Opposite of Sex and the Single Girl (A film about marriage)."
"A Repo Man for All Seasons (Harry Dean Stanton refuses to steal the popemobile despite Henry VIII’s order)."
"National Velvet: Book of Secrets (A drug-addled Liz Taylor teams up with Nicholas Cage in this adventure yarn to prove that Abraham Lincoln was actually assassinated by John Wilkes Booth's horse.)"
"Juno Country For Old Men. (the new Cohen brothers movie in which a pop-culture-reference-dropping teen mom puts her stash of smack up for adoption. It's got Jason Bateman!)"
Ed tries to return the volley with-
"Half-baked, Full Frontal Double Indemnity"
"The Glass House Of Mirth"
"Boxing Helena Troy"
"The Best Truman In Show"
"Blazing And Confused Saddles"
Spot rushes the net with-
The Cohen brothers return with "There Will Be Blood Simple" This confused tribute to film noir westerns has detectives, dames, cowboys, oil, and a cameo by Frances McDormand's underpants.
And a little something for the tween crowd: "Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus: War of the Worlds Concert Tour" In this remake of the classic H.G. Wells story, martians invade the east coast, only to find that they have no resistance to crappy Disneypop. For god's sake, root for the martians.
X. Dell jumps down in the court and chaos ensues-
"I Know What You Did Last Summer of Sam (Somebody spied on David Berkowitz)."
"Mr. Mari’s Little Drummer Girls (Diane Keaton stars as a drug addicted prostitute who doubles as a spy)."
"Love Finds Amos and Andrew (Andy) Hardy (Samuel L. Jackson and Mickey Rooney both get lucky).Bananas! Meatballs! Cold Turkey! (A gripping drama about a restaurant with a limited menu)."
"Get on the Short Bus (Richard Belzer and Andre Braugher enjoy an orgy en route to the Million Man March)."
(The Ed will make a few exceptions for old school pron movies, because they were technically movies released in theaters and technically, they had scripts)
"Debbie Does North Dallas Forty (In this sequel, Bambi Woods branches out to the suburbs.)."
"Bad Boys on the Side (Whoopi Goldberg and Drew Barrymore challenge Will Smith and Martin Lawrence in a contest to determine which pair can chew more scenery)."
"Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid Again (Because of hypnosis, Steve Martin can’t recall a serious fashion faux pas)"
"The Opposite of Sex and the Single Girl (A film about marriage)."
"A Repo Man for All Seasons (Harry Dean Stanton refuses to steal the popemobile despite Henry VIII’s order)."
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