Thursday, January 24, 2008

The Twenty-first Submissions

Who's ready for more? Spot serves it up like he's at the Australian Open-

"National Velvet: Book of Secrets (A drug-addled Liz Taylor teams up with Nicholas Cage in this adventure yarn to prove that Abraham Lincoln was actually assassinated by John Wilkes Booth's horse.)"

"Juno Country For Old Men. (the new Cohen brothers movie in which a pop-culture-reference-dropping teen mom puts her stash of smack up for adoption. It's got Jason Bateman!)"

Ed tries to return the volley with-

"Half-baked, Full Frontal Double Indemnity"

"The Glass House Of Mirth"

"Boxing Helena Troy"

"The Best Truman In Show"

"Blazing And Confused Saddles"

Spot rushes the net with-

The Cohen brothers return with "There Will Be Blood Simple" This confused tribute to film noir westerns has detectives, dames, cowboys, oil, and a cameo by Frances McDormand's underpants.

And a little something for the tween crowd: "Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus: War of the Worlds Concert Tour" In this remake of the classic H.G. Wells story, martians invade the east coast, only to find that they have no resistance to crappy Disneypop. For god's sake, root for the martians.

X. Dell jumps down in the court and chaos ensues-

"I Know What You Did Last Summer of Sam (Somebody spied on David Berkowitz)."

"Mr. Mari’s Little Drummer Girls (Diane Keaton stars as a drug addicted prostitute who doubles as a spy)."

"Love Finds Amos and Andrew (Andy) Hardy (Samuel L. Jackson and Mickey Rooney both get lucky).Bananas! Meatballs! Cold Turkey! (A gripping drama about a restaurant with a limited menu)."

"Get on the Short Bus (Richard Belzer and Andre Braugher enjoy an orgy en route to the Million Man March)."

(The Ed will make a few exceptions for old school pron movies, because they were technically movies released in theaters and technically, they had scripts)
"Debbie Does North Dallas Forty (In this sequel, Bambi Woods branches out to the suburbs.)."

"Bad Boys on the Side (Whoopi Goldberg and Drew Barrymore challenge Will Smith and Martin Lawrence in a contest to determine which pair can chew more scenery)."

"Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid Again (Because of hypnosis, Steve Martin can’t recall a serious fashion faux pas)"

"The Opposite of Sex and the Single Girl (A film about marriage)."

"A Repo Man for All Seasons (Harry Dean Stanton refuses to steal the popemobile despite Henry VIII’s order)."

7 comments:

Coaster Punchman said...

Hey WP! Why can I no longer comment at your WP blog (the one that just came out of hibernation?) It says you have to be a team member to comment.

Writeprocrastinator said...

Hey Coaster, I'm the only team member. Don't poke the procrastinator and let him go back to sleep.

deadspot said...

The Cohen brothers return with "There Will Be Blood Simple" This confused tribute to film noir westerns has detectives, dames, cowboys, oil, and a cameo by Frances McDormand's underpants.

And a little something for the tween crowd: "Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus: War of the Worlds Concert Tour" In this remake of the classic H.G. Wells story, martians invade the east coast, only to find that they have no resistance to crappy Disneypop. For god's sake, root for the martians.

Grant Miller said...

Ahh. Frances McDormand in underwear...warms my cockles

Writeprocrastinator said...

Grant,

Or you could go with the old stand-by,

I see England
I see Frances...

X. Dell said...

That's a funny Spot.

X. Dell said...

Seems my mind's in the gutter today:

I Know What You Did Last Summer of Sam (Somebody spied on David Berkowitz).

Mr. Mari’s Little Drummer Girls (Diane Keaton stars as a drug addicted prostitute who doubles as a spy).

Love Finds Amos and Andrew (Andy) Hardy (Samuel L. Jackson and Mickey Rooney both get lucky).

Bananas! Meatballs! Cold Turkey! (A gripping drama about a restaurant with a limited menu).

Get on the Short Bus (Richard Belzer and Andre Braugher enjoy an orgy en route to the Million Man March).

Debbie Does North Dallas Forty (In this sequel, Bambi Woods branches out to the suburbs.).

Bad Boys on the Side (Whoopi Goldberg and Drew Barrymore challenge Will Smith and Martin Lawrence in a contest to determine which pair can chew more scenery),

Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid Again (Because of hypnosis, Steve Martin can’t recall a serious fashion faux pas),

The Opposite of Sex and the Single Girl (A film about marriage).

A Repo Man for All Seasons (Harry Dean Stanton refuses to steal the popemobile despite Henry VIII’s order).